I like how he can just open his mouth, let anything fall out, and it makes its way around the Conservative side of the internet in about three hours. He is so not ever on the mark, and here he goes again, equating two things that don’t go together at all.
I’ve only ever owned one box of tissues in my adult life and it fell into a sink with a leaky faucet last November, so I’m doing my very best to convince myself that my mother wouldn’t be disappointed that to blow my nose, I’m using the 84-cent pack of toilet paper that had previously been stored under my coffee table.
Never spend eight hours in a walk-in cooler with nothing but a raggy, unzipped sweatshirt on because then you will be the only motherfucker with a COLD in JULY, dripping snot onto the box of Bomb Pops that you bought to sneeze on in irony as a way to punish yourself for spending eight hours in a walk-in cooler with nothing but a raggy, unzipped sweatshirt on. What is wrong with you?